mish mash

important lesson in the general mish mash that we call life. well. its not really a lesson. its more of irony. just when you got criticized for something, before you know it, the mish mash somehow finds a way to make the critics suffer the same, if not a very similar fate. its eerily very satisfying but you find yourself cursing if the above mentioned tackle the general mish mash and come out of it better while you still languish in the eternal depths of nothing-ness. ergo, you are still stuck while others are moving on. depressing? tell me about it. at least that will offer a reasonable sound explanation as to why i blew it on sunday night. simply because i failed to handle it well. the general mish mash tends to appear so mashed up you often fail to see the simplest of all solutions to the most complex of problems. most of the time, they are staring right at you face. those brave souls who try to sort out the mish mash tend to mess up some other part of the mish mash leaving you more screwed up than you already are. face it, the general mish mash will always be messed up as long as you are not the only person in the world.

of course, the brave souls will not be put off by the seeming impossibility of bringing order into the chaos. i mean, you can slam the mish mash onto a hard plate and pound it with a really hard thing and flatten it out into a flat piece of mish mash. but odds are, you'll probably lose that very hard thing during the process or end up pounding your own fingers while trying to sort out the gooey and utterly sticky general mish mash we call life. you cant quite equate it to dough. but more like dough soaked in uhu glue or maybe something stronger and alot more irritating.

i think i can blame the extreme pain in my right ear for not wanting to follow the most obvious solution staring right at my face. or i can blame the general mish mash and try to do something else and continue to languish in the abyss. maybe i can spend a few sleepless nights trying to sort out the mish mash and risk worsening the pain in my ear and the growing throbbing in my head. because the simplest things always appear to be the hardest to do even though we call them the simplest things. i mean how hard is it to take your phone (which is in a rather embarassing state recently) and try to punch a few numbers and wait for the voice on the other side?

wait, it does seem to be a trick question. must think about that for a good while. but the really annoying thing about the general mish mash is that at times, it strategically positions itself at your feet so that you'll step on it and make a good mess out of your shoes while taunting you. the other day while going on the train, i saw a familiar face. it was say, the second time i was seeing that face. our eyes met for a few moments, we smiled and just as before, we parted ways again but this time without saying a word. second time. how bleeding ironic is that. now had i gone into train at the second door of the same carriage instead of the fourth, things may have turned out different. now why did that happen? an exceedingly intelligent thought at the back of my head which told me i might have a higher chance of sitting down if i moved towards the centre of the platform. in the end, i didnt get a seat. oh, you cruel mish mash. why do you torture me so? oh well, nothing i can do except continue to endure the constant torments. i mean you cant outsmart it. i mean, how do you outwit a piece of mish mash which in all aspects, is just a hunk of dough soaked in glue? it might happen again a third time.
"one, two, three times and you lose,"

yea, i'll probably lose my mind if it happens again the third time. if its destined, i cant stop it but at least for now i am ignorant. but the lonesome time on the train made me realise something as the mish mash was smothering me without my knowledge. you see people whom you sometimes, wish you knew. and once you did, your the mish mash wont be so gooey and sticky. it need not be some hot person of the other opposite sex but just about anyone. i think, the person who would do the most good to your bit of the mish mash are the people you are least likely to meet. i think i saw one such person on that same train. i just got that feeling you know, like when the mish mash forced tries to overwhelm you, for a split second, you see a way out, except that it was far behind you or somewhere just out of reach as a result of our constant moulding of the general mish mash. bummer. but then again, the mish mash has a waqy of clouding your vision. a gut feeling is a gut feeling after all. it might have been the breakfast you ate in the morning squirming through your innards.

so what do i do about the mish mash? what the hell. i think i'll prep myself for the next time i blow it. this time, i think it will be over the phone or in person and not over msn. dundundun dunnnn.